Musings

She lived in my neighbourhood. She was also my classmate. A short stature, thin girl, second among four sisters from a typical middle class family, she was like any other girl of our age except for one difference – she had a polio stricken leg. She walked with a prominent limp.. pulling up her dead leg with her hand. I still remember how she used to put her right hand under the knee, lift the leg up like a dead log and put forward.

We were sharp contrast to each other except for studies where we always tried to outdo each other. We two had different backgrounds, our upbringing was different... Me a serious quiet one and she a bubbly laughing girl, I was into athletics/sports and she could not even walk properly, we had a car to go places while they didn’t even have a two-wheeler but friendship doesn’t see any differences and so ours also blossomed within no time and we became very good friends.

After about 4 months they shifted to Pandara Road as her father had got a bigger flat there. Then after a few more months when new session started, she changed her school to a local one there, as it was difficult for her to commute.

But we kept in touch. We felt a true connection in our lasting friendship. Since it was extremely difficult for her to board DTC buses, it was for me to go to her place. I was in south Delhi, my school was nearby, at times it was difficult to take time out to go to her place but I did. Week after week, months after months it was me who used to take DTC bus for going to her place. It had become a ritual to spend a whole day at her place studying, discussing & laughing together.

Not even once did I ever think that I was doing something extraordinary for her and that now it should have been her turn to visit me. I never weighed friendship in those terms and till date I have not changed. I don’t think friendship can be measured in terms of equality. It can happen between any two persons of any age and any background. Our wavelengths should match - no other parameters are required.

Accept people as they are. Never expect anything, always give.. for, it is their wonderful friendship you are getting in return.

It was a grave misfortune for her that in spite of being given the polio vaccinations, the disease had struck her. Sometimes fate has a much bigger role in your life than you expect it to play.

She was extremely simple girl, always smiling and had resigned to her fate of one leg. She never thought it as a problem or a hindrance to her life. Maybe she was used to it. In difficult times she had taught me how to smile. She was the rock, my pillar of strength whenever I needed her.

Towards the final years of school, the frequency of visits had reduced. That was the time when we didn’t have cell phones. After schooling we moved further apart. She took up Arts in college and went for plain graduation as her parents didn’t want to spend money on her.. .. it was to be saved for her dowry. It made more sense to them having four daughters and because of her one leg status she was the most difficult one. She never complained and had become very quiet. In fact she used to make fun of her future and used to call herself ‘one-legged girl’. Probably she was trying to laugh away the oddness in her life.

During those years, my visits to her had become almost nil. We were both busy in our own lives. In the meanwhile her elder sister got married and now it was her turn. The parents had started groom hunting. In the final year of her graduation, fortunately for her parents, one guy was ready to marry her for a hefty dowry. He had a small cloth shop in Ghaziabad.

When I came to know about her marriage, I cried. I knew she, like any other normal girl, had dreams.. dreams to get married to a decently educated well-settled boy and this one was just school passed !! I knew her choice, her taste and I knew she was succumbing to her parents’ pressure and no one could do anything.
Nevertheless, she took her marriage vows in December even before she could write her final year exams next April. She was assured that she would be ‘allowed’ to write them but apparently it didn’t happen. I had taken two day’s leave from college to attend her wedding.

On her wedding day I saw the groom. I was shaken beyond words !! He was no match for her by any means. He was a widower and at least 12 years older to her. She was smiling but her deep tearful eyes were telling a different story. She knew I could read them without a single spoken word.

It was a pain for her to be draped in a Saree when she had to lift her leg to walk and how she had managed to go up the stage, only I can visualize now. She was literally lifted by her cousin brothers to the stage. As it always happens in any wedding, she was the centre of attraction… ..not for being the beautifully adorned bride but for being the POOR unfortunate bride.

After the wedding they shifted to Indore, her husband wanted to set up a big showroom with that dowry money. Then after good four months I received her first letter. Yes, it was a letter not an e-mail. She wrote how happy she was adjusting to a big joint family, touching feet of elders every morning, wearing saree all the time and was in the family way. I could again feel the pain hidden in that letter.
The frequency of letters reduced further and by the end of first year of her marriage it had stopped completely.
I completed my studies, started working/traveling, shifted my base to Mumbai and was completely out of touch from my earlier world.

Now, recently, I came to know that she has passed away two years back leaving a motherless child.

That was my friend… my one-legged friend. That was Indu.

Note:- Something has happened yet again, I won’t be able to share at this moment but just felt like republishing this post without changing a single word.

Current song- In The End - Linkin Park
Technorati Tags: Issues Memoirs Feminism Society Friendship Human Behaviour

An update:- Inkfruit has come up with a special offer for my readers. Can you see the banner on left sidebar ? Click it and enter a code while shopping, if you want to avail of their offer of buy one, get one free.
The required code is given in first comment in the comment section. Let me know if you face any problem.

Abhi, you wanted a free T-shirt na ? Go for it now.
——————-
Has it happened with you that you want a T-shirt of particular design and can’t find it anywhere ? Or you are a budding designer not being able to do much about your creations ? Well, now there is a place which can fulfill your dreams. You can design your own T-shirts and win prizes as well !!

Remember this 16 year old dude ? Well, he loves designing. Not only t-shirts, he has painted his shoes, his guitar, his bag and what not. Whenever his parents ask him what to get for him, his only answer is a few plain tees so that he can pour out his imaginations on them.
I think this site Inkfruit is going to give him a platform to test his creative skills and become popular in his circle. It empowers designers across the world to give an output to their imaginations.

For those who would love to see & wear their own designs on T-shirts, check this site - InkFruit, the happening place.
They have an ongoing contest that releases the most amazing t-shirt designs every fortnight where you can submit your T-shirt designs and vote for others too. Here is a FAQ about this T Shirt site and design competition.

It’s a simple four step process. Design, Submit, Vote, Win.
And win means cash, reward points and free tee !! How’s that ?

I browsed through the tees and found many of them to be quite interesting. And I also got one for myself. Did I pay for that ? Eh, no.

Which one ? What color ? Which design ? How’s the cloth ?
Arrey, Hang on ! Will tell you baba. Keep guessing…. ..

Note:- This is a sponsored post.

Current song:- Unse Mili Nazar ke Mere Hosh Ud Gaye – Lata
Technorati Tags: Blogosphere

Damn with Bindra !! In a country where the digit ‘zero’ was invented and the officials till now tried their level best to maintain it at the Olympics gold medals tally, it was him who broke the tradition !

The moment Abhinav Bindra won his gold medal, his fans and supporters jumped up in delight in the stands and wild celebrations started across the country. It was first ever gold medal by an Indian in an individual sport in any Olympics.

Not surprisingly, the government and so called leaders from all walks of life immediately took credit for his achievement, politicians ignorantly shamelessly hoped for repetition of such feats, holding the medal in their hands with our respected president going one step further and coochy cooing the adorable Bindra.
A competition started in [Read more →]

Yes yes, T-shirts.

And they are for YOU, my dear readers and that too FREEEEEE !!!!  Errrrr .. almost.

Yes, if you participate in the monthly contest and are declared a winner, you are going to get a T-shirt free !! *conditions apply.

I am so so so happy to announce that inkfruit.com has agreed to sponsor a T-shirt to the winner of the photo contest we all have on my other blog.
Yay !!! Just hop over there, read the simple rules & pass me the link of your contribution.

Simple !!
We already have a bunch of raw talent over there. You can also check entries of other participants as well as mine. The topic for current month is Treasure, and we still have three days time left. So hurry up !
Who knows, you could be the first winner of a free T-shirt of your choice from Inkfruit.com ?

The inkfruit.com is a place for people to submit, discover and buy customized T-shirts, designed by people from around the world. Visit their site for more details.
Waittttt !!! Intezaar ka phal meetha hota hai. They are also throwing in some other attractions for my beloved readers here, but about that later. Keep checking this space. And the story about how the whole thing happened… oh well later.

* At present the T-shirts can not be delivered outside India.

Current Song:-Ye Dil Ye Pagal Dil Mera – Ghulam Ali
Technorati Tags:-Photo contest Blogosphere

Today, 15^th August is our Independence Day. This day will always hold a very special place in my life for myriad reasons. Being born and brought up in the capital city of India, I have been witness to Republic Day parades and Independence Day speeches since my childhood. Sometimes live and other times on TV.
The Rajpath, India Gate, Vijay Chowk, Red Fort, the parades, unfurling of national flag and singing of national anthem.. they always evoke a powerful sense of belonging. They all look like part of my life, a part of my very own place.

Prime Minister standing behind the bulletproof glass protection unfurls the national flag and makes the customary address from the ramparts of the Red Fort. His/her long speeches once again make the customary references and tributes to the nation’s farmers, workers, teachers and the defense personnel and announce the various development schemes.
Oh, my post is not about these annual rituals happening at a national level.

This post is about a young girl, who remembers the Independence Day as a festive occasion for one and all. Today as I write this post, I can feel the same emotions running through my veins. I can not say how many of us are really patriotic and in what sense but am dead sure about this little girl and I think she is going to remain the way she is.

Coming from defence background she was always fascinated with the people in crisp uniform around her. Sight of fighter planes, tanks, guns and the sound of heavy marching boots always left her awestruck.

Living in cantonment area has its own charm. As the flag etiquette demanded from all the people to stand still at the time of daily custom of flag hoisting in the mornings and lowering at sunset, she as a four year old, very dutifully did that. Even if she was running around, playing with her dolls or was in the swing, she immediately used to leave everything at the sound of bugle and stand still. Everyday early morning she gave company, in her childish shrill voice and a smiling face; waving to the march by jawans in the neighbourhood chanting patriotic slogans like “Jab tak sooraj chand rahega, bharat tera naam rahega”. Her father would laugh at her madness.

Two years later, she reminisces of going to Red Fort to see the flag hoisting which till now she had watched on TV. She was a quiet, observant and very logical child. Turned backwards on the rear seat of the car, cruising through wide roads throughout the 20 KM journey, holding a small paper tricolor in hand she watched herself leaving the world behind. The fast running vehicles, the buildings, the roads… she felt like beating them all to reach Red Fort.

She could see the blue sky full of kites of all colors, sizes and shapes symbolizing the freedom.

Once they reached, she held her father’s finger firmly till they reached their seats. The whole atmosphere was so very different from the living room telecast on TV. There was something special in the air that particular day that evoked a sense of pride at the sight of the tricolor. The early morning aura, the fresh flowers, and cleanly dressed people, school children holding small tricolours similar to hers; everything would add up to the excitement of the day. It was anything but ordinary.

She was thrilled. The red coloured Red Fort was gigantic in size and the place from where the flag was going to be unfurled looked so far away. She wanted to go up there for a closer look but was told she could not.

Sadly, she looked around. There were many policemen on duty guiding and guarding everyone.

Why so many ? She asked her father.

“The police are more careful these days since the assassination of Indira Gandhi”.

The quest of her why’s and how’s started but the young girl could not understand most of what her father said. There was a hush-hush sound all around; she was not allowed to speak loudly. Then it looked like the wait was over. The Prime Minister had arrived along with many others in cars. She was delighted.

It had started drizzling. The school children were standing, waiting to perform. She wanted to be a part of them.

It was different from the school celebrations that she had attended the day before. The function at school had plays, songs and marching drills. The tricolor paper banner strings, the colourful Rangoli, large life sized paintings done by the students and teachers together had decorated the school premises.

The Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi reached the podium, unfurled the flag and there went the national anthem. Again the unfurling of national flag and singing of national anthem evoked a powerful sense of belonging.

Along with all others she, still holding the tricolour in her hand, stood in pride and sang the National Anthem at the top of her voice.

Jana Gana Mana Adhinayaka Jaya Hey
Bharat Bhagya Vidhata
Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha
Dravida Utkala Banga
Vindhya Himachal Yamuna Ganga
Ucchala Jaladhi Taranga
Tabh Shubha Naame Jaage
Tabh Shubha Aashish Maange
Gaahe Tabh Jaya Gatha
Jan Gan Mangaldayak Jay Hey
Bharat Bhagya Vidhata
Jaya Hey ! Jaya Hey ! Jaya Hey !
Jaya, Jaya, Jaya, Jaya Hey

Note:- This was my first ever guest post written exactly a year back. Republishing here with minimal changes.
Current song:- Kar Chale Hum Fida Jaan-o-tan Sathiyo – Md Rafi
Technorati Tags: India Celebrations Independence Day

सुबह सवेरे सीढियां चढ़ते पैर
ले गए मन्दिर में,
गुमसुम, ज्वालामुखी सी शांत
हाथ जोड़ मांगी मैंने दुआ |

आज जन्मदिन है उसका,
अनचाहे ही रोज़ आता है सपनों में |
गए साल की तरह आज भी
कर्म निभा रहा है वो अपनों में |

सदियाँ बीत गई
उसकी आवाज़ सुने
आँखें पथरा गई
कोई ख़त पढ़े  |

किया था वादा उसने, इस बार
साथ जशन मनाने का |
झूठ ! तरीका उसका ये अच्छा नहीं
मसरूफ़ियत दिखाने का |

भीगे मौसम की सूखी बारिश में
वक़्त है ये जाम उठाने का |
मुस्कुरा ऐ दिल, खुशी के फूल खिला,
आज दिन है फिर से महक जाने का |

पर कमबख्त मानता नहीं, आँखें सुनती नहीं
ढूँढती हैं बहाना सैलाब बहाने का |
भरपूर मिलें, उसकी खुशियाँ कभी कम न हों..
ग़म नहीं फ़िर ख़ुद के शामिल न हो पाने का |

Note:-Translation in the comment section.

Current Song:- Karoge Yaad to Har Baat Yaad Aayegi - Bhupinder
Technorati Tags:- Poetry Hindi

Ok, I have been following this case of Nikita & Haresh Mehta and feeling quite distressed about it. The couple who wanted to abort their 24 week old foetus after being told by medical specialists that the child, if born, will have serious abnormalities so as to render it handicapped.
At present it has complete congenital heart blockage and malpositioned arteries that would require a pacemaker implantation soon after birth and sadly, is now a 26 weeks old. The court has dismissed their plea to do so.
The case was a good example of a case torn between emotional trauma, social and ethical issues.

The 37 year old Medical Termination of Pregnancy (MTP) Act allows a pregnancy to be terminated after 20 weeks only if there was a fatal risk to the mother and not to the foetus.

First, I must applaud the courage shown by Mehta couple for taking such a difficult decision (which now has been made even more difficult by the court), walking the legal path and thus in a way creating an awareness among all..  the people, the lawmakers and the society.
When I heard of this case first, I was of the same opinion as theirs and today I can only sympathize with them. I am sorry if I sound like a heartless executioner.

Many pros & cons must have been debated on this. I am not going to repeat them here. Several offers have come by from bearing the hospital expenses to adoption of the child. All said and done and agreed upon. But at what cost ?

The couple is very sure that they won’t give the child for adoption. No sane parent will do that.  And why should they ? They have not opened a charity. They very much wanted a child of their own but a healthy child.
Now the question is that in this so called free world, as a matured adult couple, what choice do they really have ?

On one hand we have thousands of healthy unwanted newborns who are abandoned or murdered or do not have a place to live and on the other hand we are trying to save a foetus which has not seen the world, has fair chances of being incapacitated and handicapped to survive and more importantly, is NOT wanted by his/her own parents !!

Aren’t we punishing the couple for no fault of theirs ? I can see the logic behind the Court’s argument. But are they right to stop Niketa from aborting? Isn’t it their personal choice ?
As parents, they know best what is good for the child and for them as a family and how much pain they’d have to suffer on daily basis. Probably they loved the child so much that they wanted to kill it. Sounds atrociously true ??
Leave alone the offers of help of any kind. At the end of the day it is them who have to deal with unwanted unwelcome uncertain emotional & physical trauma.
Every day.
Period.

When the child is not able to swallow food, feels breathless, has complications or wants to jump & play football or any such, however helpful NGOs & state are; it is only those three of that family who would suffer.
Two extremely precious weeks have been wasted in taking a known decision and now they say at 26 weeks foetus can ‘feel’ the pain. Physical pain. And mother ?
What if the child dies on operation table or after a few months when the parents have emotionally attached themselves to it ? Won’t it be a pain then ?

Nothing can be done now, the couple is fatigued and do not want to approach the Supreme Court. So let us hope for the best.. .. for the child and for the brave family.

However, a few questions that still haunt me, are :-

- What if, after knowing the condition of foetus they had taken an illegal path which is very much possible in India instead of approaching the court ? Are they being punished for being law-abiding citizens and knocking the door of the court ?

- Why couldn’t the court take this as a special case on humanitarian grounds and make an exception for them by exercising its extraordinary jurisdiction ?

- Why they took so long to decide ? Looking at the circumstances, medical checkups & court hearing could have taken place on weekends as well. To me, it was similar to recording a dying statement from a person where time plays an important part.

- Why the panel of two judges again requested the same set of specialists from the same source for a second report ? I don’t know why but this alongwith the next pt. gives me a feeling that the judgment was predecided considering the uproar it would have created.

- As claimed by the JJ hospital’s committee there was a ‘typo’ error in the first report submitted to the court. First report said,
“The committee is of the opinion that there are very fair chances that child will be born incapacitated and handicapped to survive.”
The second report mentioned,
“The committee is of the opinion that there are very least chances that child will be born incapacitated and handicapped to survive.”
Only one word was replaced. Was that really a typo error ? If you go by dictionary definition, the replacement of the word ‘fair’ with ‘least’ does not qualify as a typo.

- As in many fields, we always talk about continual process updations, why the laws & acts are not looked into and amended in accordance with time and other factors ?
- Is it fair and just for the state or the govt to force a woman to use her own body to give birth to a child against her wishes ?

Current Song:- Zindagi Kaisi Hai Paheli Bhai – Mukesh
Technorati Tags: Issues Society India

Note:- I will reply to comments tomorrow. There are somewhere around 50 waiting for me. Yaawn… .. zzzzz…

Mumbai people,

Grab today’s copy of Mumbai mirror and turn to page 10. Check the column Mumbai life.

What do you see ?

Current Song:- Hum to Aise Hain Bhaiya - Sunidhi & Shreya

ये देश है वीर जवानों का
अलबेलों का मस्तानों का ..
इस देश में धोनी जैसे होते हैं
जिसे देखकर बॉलर रोते हैं
धोनी सबको ऐसा धोते हैं …

I am so so very happy.

Indian ODI & T20 cricket team’s cool headed and aggressive captain M S Dhoni has been chosen for the prestigious Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna award, only second cricketer after Sachin Tendulkar to receive the country’s highest honour for a sportsperson.

And the above song ?? No, no. Not written by me.
Well, the Jharkhandis have made many songs on their young leader and I just heard this one on TV.
Know some more about Mahi through his parents here.

Current Song:- Ye Desh Hai Veer JawanoN Ka - Naya Daur
Technorati Tags:- Cricket

This is absolutely horrid & shocking. There could be many reasons, many pros & cons; whatever & however we try, condolences or sympathies can never bring back Aditya again.

His parents urge all to join the online petition asking Jet Airways to probe the incident and ensure that no other parent goes through the same trauma.